May 17th, 2004


Insignificant Relevations

A picture, an advertisement and a song has no meaning unless someone makes meaning of it. Have been listening to songs for the past three hours. Sitting in front of the visualizer listening, thinking and smoking. Each song has a distinct meaning, a strong understanding that cannot be put into words. The feelings evoked by this emotional instrument is so powerful one can understand not only the irrelavance of time, but the eternity of memories.

They remind of you of mistakes, love, laughter, pain and friendship. The regrets let you suffer in pain for a lifetime, and the warmness of each song reminds you of the joy of living. You think of the first crush you had 10 years ago, and the recent mistake you made you can't undo. You think of the love you are granted, and the love you have forgone. I think of what I should not have done, yet time is never forgiving. It only reminds you of your mistakes.

Move on, they say. Optimistic people say that tomorrow will be better. Others dwell in the past, crying in the deep dark for what they have done. The songs I listen to, reminds me of what the past has been, reminds me of what I could've cherish, what I could've let go. Since I came here, the music library remains stagnant. The same old songs, the same old memories. Even the new places I visited produces a familiar scent. A scene of unforgivable beauty.

Some feelings do vanish. When you are brushing your teeth or taking a shower, the infatuation that you used to have doesn't seem to haunt your soul no more. You smile. And you cry for feelings that are not sustainable. Is everything an infatuation? You look to the future. Apocalypse. Nothing seems promising. Except the promise of undying love.

To live is a courageous act. It is never cowardly. I look to the future. Who will I meet? Will my friends be the same? One might dwell in the past but others will just move on. What is a best friend? Who is the perfect lover? Will one ever find out? There are so many questions in life, together with beauty and trust.

If I can live a life all over again, there are so many things I will change. The mistakes are just haunting me all together. I do live a blessed life, which I do not know whether I deserve, but grateful for. Being a rich man doesn't mean you will be happy. He might have given up so many things.

Someone told me a stupid scholar is always famous for one theory and he keeps repeating in all his books regarding his beliefs. Cest la vie. We are all different. We believe in one thing strongly, and have to let go of something we think that is insignificant comparatively. Is it better to be a jack of all trades than to a be master of one? Preach what you believe in, there will be people who hate you, and the promise your belief will bring you to.

You can never please anyone. Remember those who loved you, who love you and who hate you, They all seek to make your life better.
  • Current Music

The road is grey

Took a route that I do not usually take on my way home.




Either someone is more depressed or some prophet is trying to tell me something.

damn it, as I wrote this entry a car accident just took place downstairs
  • Current Mood
    amused amused