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As a child, I never thought much about life. As a teenager, I could not wait to end my life.
I had morbid fantasies on how I would die, and preferably at the age of 30.

When I first picked up smoking at 19 or 20, I was already well aware of its harmful side effects.
I was then depressed, and perhaps there were no better reasons not to shorten my life span.

And I got depressed again, at 21 or 22, and turned to endless lambos, waterfalls and liquid xtcs.
It seems that everytime I got depressed, I picked up habits that provide temporary yet new comforts which are in fact deceivingly fatal.

Life has since been kind and good. Now in my mid-life crisis, dying at 30 does seem tad too early.
I exercise, I try to eat healthy and pop vitamins daily.
Ironically, I take liver supplements daily to prolong the life of my alcoholic organs.

Is it difficult to kick these habits? Or is this statement just an excuse for addicts like me to indulge in depressions we cannot get by?
Why are habits, that are blatantly bad, so damn attractive?

In my life, laughter is perhaps only a form of utopian fantasy, something forced and temporary.
When life is good, socially undesirable habits and life threatening situations remind me that, all what I am having, is real.
 
 
 
 
 
 
*Smile & be happy*
Hugs Babe!
we need to spend a month on an island de-toxing. but yeah belive in it enough and you can probably strong arm most fantasies into reality
count me in on this island thingy leh...
aiyah must really find a place where there are no ciggies alcohol and all the nonsense chemical substances...
I'm a bad habit too~! Pick me up~! Pick me up~!
he said they must be "so damn attractive" as well...
I AM So, Damned and Attractive wat.
didnt pick you up, though i picked up all your bad habits though hahahahaha
Yuen Wang ah~!!! You the one teach me bad lor~!
Me so decent before I met you~!
don't worry.
when mama goes to the temple, she also prays for her children in australia as well. I'll transfer some of my shou ming credits to you already, "break in case of emergency"!
BIG HUGS!
hahahaha your moo moo dotter just asked if you remember her or not?
im glad we went through some of life's ups and downs together.

so u wanna play mahjong at my _____________, or i play at yours?

lalalalalala........
:) take care.
so do you still smoke?